Peta

Via Twitter today, I stumbled upon a link to PETA's blog.  If you're not inclined to click through, I totally get that, and don't worry, I'll save you the trouble and just include the punchline here:

That's right.  The organization's official blog is titled "The PETA Files" (pronounced "pedophiles", in case it's not obvious to some).

The same tactless folks at PETA that brought you the infamous "got prostate cancer?" ad are back in the business of hilarity with their "political wit".  Either that or nobody in their proofing process caught the fairly apparent allusion to child molestation.

I don't buy that it was an accident.  If it was, they need more people in their approval chain.  I'm more inclined to think someone thought it was funny.  As a friend commented to me via Facebook, it's "very instructive about their core beliefs. Vegan running shoes are important, while abused children are the fodder for humor."

Stay classy, PETA.

PETA, you know the name. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, with its estimated 2 million members and supporters, is the largest animal rights organization in the world.

These are the do-gooders who purport to work for low non-profit wages. Here you’ll find volunteers and staffers who sacrifice their time with no other motivation than to protect animals from abuse - or so they want you to believe.

These are the folks who followed Beyonce Knowles into a restaurant in NYC to complain about the fur coat she was wearing - demanding that she trade it in for a fake fur.

These are people who erected billboard signs in Wichita, after the shooting death of abortion doctor George Tiller, urging people on both sides of the abortion debate to go vegetarian.

One sign says, "Pro-Life? Go Vegetarian." The other says, "Pro-Choice? Choose Vegetarian." After all, a human's life is worth no more than an animal's, according to PETA.

In fact, the organizations record of actually fulfilling its mission of protecting animals is negligible to say the least. According to the website www.PETAkillsanimals.com, an analysis of public records shows that PETA found adoptive homes for less than 1 out of every 300 animals in 2008, and the organization killed 95 percent of the dogs and cats in its care last year.

But raising fundraising to support the protection of animals isn’t PETA’s main revenue stream. PETA’s $34 million in revenue collected in 2008 came mainly from the groups corporate “friends” and from sales of PETA’s seal of approval.

PETA uses a tiered 3-level system. “Platinum Level” membership buys companies a “customized program to meet your goals.” The more you pay in, the greater of a friend you become and PETA wants its friends to be successful, very successful. Especially when PETA is taking their cut of the profits right off the top.

Examine PETA’s case against MasterCard. According to PETA, the Ringling Brother’s circus, has mistreated its animals. So, PETA being the good samaritan, launched the “NastyCard” campaign against MasterCard for sponsoring the event. As part of the “NastyCard” campaign, PETA encouraged MasterCard customers to cut up their cards and mail them to the company.

PETA then entered into an exclusive deal with Visa to offer a PETA Platinum Credit Card, which PETA received royalties of 1% of the purchases made with their exclusively branded Visa card. “Platinum Level” friendship with PETA - priceless.

PETA also receives kickbacks from items the group promotes as “recommended products” that are direct competitors to companies on the receiving end of a PETA attack campaign.

It seems, if you are a large corporation, or a special interest with financial clout, friendship with PETA definitely has its perks. If you want to play dirty with your competition, ruin their brand identify, or just scandalize their name - I know a marketing firm that can help you. They’re called the “Product Execution Task Agency”, also known as PETA.