political humor

President Obama has attempted to sell his health plan to the American people on two previous occasions by by standing in front of a large group of supportive nurses. Yet this failed to do the trick so this time President Obama invited two doctors from each state in the union to the White House to show people out there that there really are professionals that support the President's health care reforms. This time would be serious, this time they'd have their doctor's outfits on. One poor doctor who showed up without his white coat looked sadly out of place, but never fear the Obama administration is here with a spare coat at the ready. Don't want a doctor to lose all his super powers with no white coat, and besides who wants to wreck a pretty picture of 100 properly attired doctors with the President of the United States. This photo op was such a powerful image that the administration looked for other ways to visually convince Americans to support other Obama administration proposals.

In fact they held one doctor over and convinced another familiar face to help sell the President's second stimulus plan...

This was such a success that later that same day came the announcement the the Justice Department would be addressing the concerns of illegal aliens...

Then came President Obama's surprise announcement of the appointment of his two new green job czars..

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Finally President Obama, under advisement from his most recent appointments, decided green aliens would receive a government stimulus check if they cashed in their used space ship for a newer more fuel efficient model...

Obama - How to Sell a Plan

Inappropriate Humor Alert...

Tea Party protesters won a victory today as the mainstream media could not ignore their protests like they have in the past. As expected some of the media described the protesters as radicals (ever-classy and most-trusted Anderson Cooper of CNN used an obscene joke to describe the attendees) despite the pictures showing peaceful gatherings of people of all ages in attendance. Yet media logic dictates if you don't love Obama, you must be crazy. Yet it's not just the media searching for crazy. A report was leaked by DHS on "Rightwing Extremism." To quote the report,

Rightwing extremist chatter on the Internet continues to focus on the economy, the perceived loss of U.S. jobs in the manufacturing and construction sectors, and home foreclosures.

Dang it, I'm a radical. There were signs, once in high school I got a detention for a overdue library book; even back then I was bad. My internet chatter about obscene government spending has all been a clever ploy to manipulate my readers to take radical action like, 'vote the bums out,' or 'tell your representatives what you think.' I tell you I'm bad, and if I didn't have a job or a cold I would have been one of those crazy tea party animals too. You need further proof that I'm a radical? How about this...

Rightwing extremist views bemoan the decline of U.S. stature and have recently focused on themes such as the loss of U.S. manufacturing capability to China and India, Russia’s control of energy resources and use of these to pressure other countries, and China’s investment in U.S. real estate and corporations as a part of subversion strategy.

Well there you have it. I'm concerned that China owns us, and all our debt, I must be a radical. Granted, I'm a centrist on guns and immigration, and lean a bit left on the social issues discussed in the report, but imagine my surprise to find out that I've been cavorting with other radicals over the past 2 years by volunteering for the McCain campaign. Pro-life, pro-second amendment, high concentration of veterans, don't let the good humor, sarcastic wit, family values, and helpful manner fool you - we were all a big bunch of radicals, just ask MSNBC.

Now I know there is a serious side to this report. Every group in every country has its nutballs, and its the government's main job to protect its citizens from radicals of all sorts. Yet this seems like a veiled attempt to blur the line between staunch conservatives and radical Klan-like groups, when in reality that is a very clear and distict line. Veterans in particular are owed an apology for their less than flattering portrayal in this report. As for me, I'm going to keep chattering about the economy, and take pride in the fact that someone out there thinks I'm radical.

You Could Be A Radical Too...

By Philip Morris  NEWPORT NEWS

So how did Barack Obama turn North Carolina and Virginia BLUE? In a revealing look at the Exit Polls in VIRGINIA & NORTH CAROLINA it was the SMOKER VOTE that put Virginia and North Carolina in the BLUE. 

Mr. Barack Obama campaigned in Tobacco country promising CHANGE and SMOKERS in NC & VA took Obama's mantra inside the voting booth. Seventy-Five percent (75%) of Smokers in NC & VA chose Obama over McCain.  "There have been a couple of times during the campaign when I fell off the wagon and bummed one, and I had to kick it again," Obama tells the November issue of Men's Health. However, in researching this story Philip Morris has learned that Obama was telling only part of the story, the truth of the matter is that it was strategic move to bum cigarettes off typical smokers in rural Virginia and North Carolina. In discussing this matter with a Senior Adviser of the Obama campaign, who talked freely on the condition the advisor's identity would remain secret, stated that, "President-Elect Obama at beginning of his presidential campaign had a meeting with his top campaign advisers and in that meeting Mr. Obama circled the state of Virginia and said, 'if I win Virginia, uh, (pause) I will uh, be the uh, uh, the President,' so a strategy was devised in that secret meeting by seeking a demographic that crossed all voting groups in Virginia and that demographic was Smokers."  The Senior adviser continued, "You see, Smokers are black, white, republicans, democrats, independents, old, young, male, female, etc. , so we developed what the Obama campaign termed Burn Baby Burn or BBB for short, to secure the smoker vote in Virginia."  "Our BBB strategy was simple, as you know, McCain held a significant lead in both Virginia and North Carolina after the Republican National Convention, so the Obama campaign implemented Burn Baby Burn." 

"On the campaign trail in Virginia, Mr. Obama  would puff a cigarette while he spoke of change, or Mr. Obama would bum a cigarette from a typical smoker on the campaign trail stopping to puff and inhale while he connected with the bitter Bible-thumpers."  "The polling reflected that it was working, by mid-October Obama was leading outside the margin of error in Virginia."  BBB worked so well the campaign deployed the strategy in the heart of Dixie, North Carolina & Tobacco Road."  "The success we had in North Carolina is exemplified by that chance encounter with Joe, Joe the Smoker."  "At one point we had Mr. Obama jogging down Tobacco road with a Marlboro Menthol dangling from his mouth ( Mr. Obama brand of choice is anything Menthol: Marlboro, Kool, Newports)." The Senior Adviser continued, " Obama was jogging with some reporters and a cameraman, when he saw a typical bitter, rural, white, smoker playing catch with his son in typical small rural front yard, so Obama stopped and began to chat with the typical white person named Joe, and while they were talking Joe asked, 'Mr. Obama I am all out of smokes, can I have your smoke and I will vote for you?'" As you know, Mr. Obama took one more puff from the Marlboro Menthol Light and gave it to Joe the Smoker and as they say in Tobacco Road McCain's chance of winning went up in smoke."  "Joe the Smoker puffed that menthol down to its last ash and smokers across Virginia and North Carolina realized Obama was a true smoker just like them and he would even give his last smoke to win a vote."

I contacted the McCain campaign in regard to this story and a top adviser within McCain's inner circle confirmed that by late October that the polling data within the McCain camp showed a shift in smokers going for Obama.  "The McCain campaign even developed an ad showing McCain smoking while as a POW, but by then it was to late and Senator McCain dumped the ad."

I wanted to get the smokers take on this story, I found a group of six typical Virginia smokers smoking outside their office-complex.  All six smokers voted for Obama.  My question was easy, why?   All of them agreed because Obama is just like us he is a smoker and he promised Change.  I continued, what type of Change did he promise?  They all were silent and looked at each other and then one of the male smokers responded, "well if the President can smoke in the White House, he is going to change it so we can smoke inside again."  All the smokers shook their head in agreement, and I asked, did Mr. Obama say that?  "Well not exactly, but that is what he is going to do."

In January 2007 Fox News Anchor Josh Gibson ran the story of Obama's "Dirty little secret," and talked of Obama's cigarette smoking.  Mr. Gibson asked the question, "Would you vote for a smoker as President?"   The answer is Yes, Virginia and North Carolina have decided that there is a new Marlboro Man and his name is Barack Obama.

-Lex Rex

This is satire by Lex Rex and is intended as a joke.