Abusing Sarah Palin With Metaphor

Twice this week I've warned the Democratic Party about the dangers of overplaying the Sarah Palin attack strategy. I even invoked a sports metaphor, the very same (and rather lame) metaphor I invoked on the eve of Democratic Party wins during the election in 2006. I warned them of the "offsides trap," a defensive play in soccer (or European football). Not that anyone is listening, but I at least try to sound the alarm.

I find it interesting that tonight on the "The Factor" with Bill O'Reilly, Dick Morris used a metaphor of similar import drawn from military history: he warned Democrats that Sarah Palin could end up being the Democratic Party's Battle of Kursk; that battle was a trap for Germany, a devastating trap used to great success by the Soviet Union in World War 2. I like Morris' metaphor only to a point, as it is hard for me to even remotely hint at sympathy towards the repugnant Hitler and his evil designs (or Stalin's, for that matter).

Such warnings, of course, are aimed at Democrats and all those in the media who support the Democratic Party. They are intended to draw a line in the sand (or the pitch); such warnings say that to cross that line could be perilous. A quick survey of the media largely confirms my suspicion that Democrats have already crossed that line with a series of dopey metaphors (in bold):

• The ever-imitable New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd opined Sunday that Sarah Palin is essentially a real-life "chic flick." In all fairness to Ms. Dowd, who is to literature what phone sex is to oratory, a direct quote should be offered: Sarah Palin's story is a "hokey chick flick [that] came out on the trail, a Cinderella story so preposterous it’s hard to believe it’s not premiering on Lifetime." (My wife sums up perfectly what is wrong with Ms. Dowd: Ms. Dowd's words are born solely of envy.)
• Bill Maher referred to Sarah Palin as John McCain's stewardess. (That's some pretty heady humor there, Bill. Great writing.)
• Washington Post columnist Sally Quinn believes "that a woman with five children, including one with special needs, and a daughter who is a 17-year-old child who is pregnant and about to have a baby, probably has got to rethink her priorities. It seems to me that there is a tipping point, and I think that she's crossed the tipping point." (Ms. Quinn might want to quietly meditate on that tipping point idea for a while.)
• Democratic strategist and linguist/philosopher George Lakoff said of the Sarah Palin story, "It's conceivable a 17-year-old girl just screwed the GOP." (Of course, it should behoove any decent linguist to properly ask himself what he means by "conceivable" and "screwed." Nice metaphors, Mr. Lakoff. I can see why you are a Democratic strategist.)

What is just thrilling good fun is to see whether Gov. Palin can sufficiently tap into her own poetic muse to find the apt metaphor that perfectly fits the expectations of the American psyche, at least a majority share of it, and yet also gives Mr. Lakoff fits of apoplexy (figuratively speaking, of course). Tonight, right now in fact, is her time to be particularly inspired. That is if she's not too tired from breast-feeding. (Sorry. See how easy it is to be a buffoon?)

(Addendum: It seems quite clear that Gov. Palin found her muse and her metaphor.)

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