A Democrat's Nightmare

Crossposted with authors permission from:

http://thevaluesvoter.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!F3D4C1BC1D8B0D91!1171.entry

I don't get how people don't get it. Hopefully Mccain will.

 

It was reported last year that the Republican candidate who most worried the Democrats was Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee. The Democratic Strategists must be relieved that his name hasn't been mentioned on McCain's short lists. But let's take a look at the type of thing that the Democratic consultants are probably very afraid of.

 

Friday, August 29th 4:30 AM

Dear Diary,

I just woke up from the scariest dream ...

 

When I went to bed last night, I was in a great mood. Our conference was awesome and the party was starting to come together. Barack gave an incredible speech. And the polls showed we were getting a good bump out of the convention.

 

And then I went back to the hotel and fell asleep. And I dreamed that I was watching television and watching McCain announce his running mate. We had been preparing for Romney (we put together the coolest ad). But we also were ready for the other members of the short list. For each of those people, we had talking points about why they were horrible picks and would continue the Bush tradition. I dreamed I was staring straight at the screen when they unveiled McCain's Veep.

 

And then I saw MIKE HUCKABEE with John McCain. Aw, shucks. The guy we weren't expecting. And I screamed for a minute like I was Howard Dean. I was really scared.

 

But then I thought to myself - "yes we can." We can deal with this. And so I went to the office to prepare some talking points on Huckabee. But that was even scarier.

 

I searched through all of Huckabee's comments to find something bad he said about McCain so that we could put out our own ad just like the Republicans did to us last week. But I came up empty. He never said anything bad about McCain.

 

Then we tried to connect him to the Bush Administration so that we could show why he'd be part of a second Bush term. But that was even more frustrating. He ran a state and didn't have anything to do with Iraq, the deficit, the national debt, or our image abroad. We looked around for how much he voted with Bush. But because he was the only person running who wasn't in the Senate, he didn't even have the opportunity to vote with or against Bush. Arrggh.

 

We tried to make some arguments about how McCain/Huckabee would not help Americans with health care. But even that didn't work. Huckabee created a program that offered health insurance to poor children. He cut the number of uninsured Arkansans so that it was a quarter less than the national average. He even lost a hundred pounds and saved money on drugs himself because he didn't need diabetes medication anymore. This dream kept getting worse by the minute.

 

We were going to make an ad to attack all Republicans because of the Hurricane Katrina disaster. But even that didn't work because Huckabee took money out of his own state's treasury to help house the evacuees from neighboring Louisiana. He even gave free dialysis machines to the evacuees who were sick.

 

We tried to point out how the Republicans haven't reached out to black voters. But we couldn't even do that because Huckabee got half the black vote in Arkansas, even with Bill and Hillary Clinton helping his opponent. And then a bunch of black Pastors and church groups got together and (tremble) said they were going to vote for him.

 

Since Joe Biden has been in politics for so long, we wanted to compare our Veep against their Veep and show how much experience our guy has. But then someone pointed out that Huckabee was the only person who had actually run a government and has a longer tenure than any governor of either party. We were hoping Biden would be able to beat the Pub's Veep in a debate. But Huck won the debates easily. He even told funnier jokes.

 

We tried to talk about all the personal scandals that Republicans have been involved in over the past couple of years. But when we tried to pull up dirt on Huckabee, we came up ... empty. EMPTY!? He's been married to the same woman for 34 years, his kids love him and he's stayed out of trouble.

 

Our last hope was that those talk show radio hosts would help us out, the way they did during the primaries. But it turned out that even though their guy didn't get picked, they still disliked our nominee so much that they started being fair to Huckabee.

 

And because McCain and Huckabee seemed to have so much fun campaigning together, McCain started looking happier and more relaxed on the stump.

 

I started to cry. I knew we were probably going to lose the election. And then I woke up.

 

Gosh! I'm still shaking. I'm just glad they haven't realized that they've been ignoring the best candidate. That was TOO close. I'm just glad it was just a dream.

 

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Comments

Huckabee endorsed Young?!?

He's bad news for conservatives.