The Five Stages of Electoral Grief

The Five Stages of Electoral Grief

Denial: Monday October 27th
There is no way this country is going to elect such an extreme leftist as Obama. Of course the country is fed up with Bush, but in the end they’ll see that McCain is no Bush. All the undecideds are starting to show movement and they clearly will go towards McCain. If they have not been lured in by Obama’s siren song of hope by now they should be safely in the republican column by the weekend. It’s going to be close but we should be able to pull it out in the end.

Anger: Friday October 31st
This is a Halloween nightmare. How can the polls still be breaking to Obama? Has the country paid no attention whatsoever to William Ayers? Rev. Wright? The “bitter” comments?  How can women even be considering him? Don’t they remember what he did to Hillary? I can’t believe this; he is going to tax us right into a second great depression! Why the hell didn’t McCain pick Romney!

Bargaining: Saturday November 1st
I can see the popular vote isn’t going to go our way, but that’s OK. We just need to take Pennsylvania and Ohio and we should be able to squeak through in the Electoral College. It won’t be popular and McCain will be somewhat handicapped in his ability to govern, but it will ensure conservative control of at least one branch of the government. Come on Joe the Plumber- bring me PA.

Depression: Monday November 3rd
That’s it. The final round of Mason-Dixon battleground state polls have come in and they don’t look good. Chris Mathews is already starting to gloat. Fox News can’t even put a positive spin on this one. It’s over.

Acceptance: Tuesday Night November 4th
The nation spoke with a clear voice, and that voice was a rejection of the Bush administration and general republican rule. Well, we deserved it. We went against our core principles of small government and strong national defense. This was a good cleansing fire. We will return from the ashes like the phoenix reborn in 2012. We will be stronger, more focused. Look what happened to the democrats when they were ousted from power. They found their own messianic figure in Obama. There is a conservative Obama out there and he will rise to prominence over the next four years. The Republican Party will once again be the party of big ideas, not big government. In the long run this has been good for conservatives; we just need to keep our eyes on the big picture. The national is still essentially split…

I need to go watch O’ Riley now.