Dispatch from the Win-by-Losing compound

Following his announcement that he is ending his campaign for the 2008 presidential elections, many of Ron Paul's supporters are unsure what to do.  Some plan to support Libertarian candidate Bob Barr, while others plan to sit out the election entirely.  Still others believe that the best action is to refuse to support any presidential candidate while voting for down-ballot candidates.

But, there remains a solid core of Paul supporters who, in professing a belief in what they consider to be "core conservative values", have chosen to support Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama.  They are known among many Republicans as the "Win-by-Losing Cult".

The "Win-by-Losing Cult" maintains a compound in a secret location.  In order to have direct communication with its members, one must agree to be taken blindfolded on a two-hour journey in the back of a step van over rough terrain to a cabin in the remote woods outside Boise, Idaho.  Upon Paul's announcement, I called up a source and arranged to be driven to the myserious woodland retreat in order to get their reaction to the news.

However, when I arrived, I was met with stony silence.  It seems that, upon the announcement that Paul was ending his campaign, members of the Win-by-Losing Cult became so despondent that they couldn't even get out of bed.

They remained there, lying utterly still with their faces covered the entire time I was at the scene.  The overall sense of melancholy at the compound was palpable.  Not even a groan could be heard as the cult members contemplated the momentousness of their loss.  It was as though mass catatonia had settled over the entire group.

As I wandered through the compound, I couldn't escape the sense of doom that had settled over the entire complex.  It hung in the air as heavy as the late summer humidity of New Orleans.  Only, unlike New Orleans, where a spirit of irony managed to keep a bar open even amid the devastation of Katrina, the compound was bereft of any kind of life.

When I went outside to find the driver who had taken me to the compound, he seemed as mystified by the scene inside as I was.  Asked what might have happened, he offered a befuddled shake of the head, a shrug, and a puzzled "Hell if I know."  We both stood there at a loss for what to do next.

Finally, I decided to go back inside and do another walk-through in hopes of finding some sign of life that would pierce the overall sense of doom.  Then, I discovered the cryptic note that would provide some answer as to what had befallen this eccentric group of political activists.

To Whom it May Concern:

By now, you will have discovered that we are not in much of a mood to talk.  Do not mistake this for surrender, for it is anything but.  The silence that envelops us is not the silence of a defeated army.  It is not the silence of the vanquished.

No, the silence you are experiencing is that of a movement in gestation.  We lie still for the moment, conserving the energy that will be required in order to set in motion the chain of events that will leave the world standing in awe upon the return of The One. 

Do not concern yourselves with our cause at this moment, for you are incapable of grasping its enormity.  You will know its full power soon enough.  And, when you do, you will tremble in its shadow.  But do not be fearful, for the power that shall be unleashed upon the world is a beneficent one.  There will be those who do fear it, but they will do so simply because they do not understand it.

If you do not want to be among the quivering masses when The One returns, educate yourselves.  Seek the truth.  Find it and spread it hither an yon.  Because, when The One returns, all will be put right.  I say this to you in the hope that it will lead to the salvation of your conservative soul.  You can choose to accept it, or deny it.  I trust you will choose wisely.  For the truly conservative soul fears not the return of The One, Hale-Bopp.  I mean, Ronald Reagan.



And, with that, I sought out my driver.  He didn't bother with the blindfold routine for the trip back.  It seems he was as bewildered as I was.

All in all, though, having the blindfold on for the trip to the compound wasn't so bad.  It made for a new experience on the trip back home.  Pretty scenic, actually.

Your rating: None Average: 5 (3 votes)



That's hilarious. Quick hide the knives!


Great parody.  It should be not only about Ron Paul supporters, who earn the cult-like reputation, but also to the "McCain is not coservative enough," and "I want to damage the country for the benefit of my party" crowds.  You gain nothing by losing.  Actually, you'd be lucky to just not gain.  You lose ground.  So don't stay on your moral high horse and sit this out if you fall into one of the three categories above.  Do the grown-up thing and vote for McCain. 

Like lemmings running towards the cliff.

How long must we, as fiscal conservatives, be told to do the right thing and vote for a fiscal liberal simply because he has an "R" in front of his name?  Let's face it, ever since Reagan, fiscal conservatism has been brushed aside by our so-called Republican presidential nominees to a point now where I really don't think even if John McCain wanted to significantly reduce the size of government, he would have the political capital to do so -- and that's just my point.  We, as fiscal conservatives, have been doing the "...grown-up thing and vote for"...the fiscal liberal with an "R" in front of his name for the past twenty years and all it has gotten us is more liberalism. And when you THINK about it, how could it be any different?

If all of the base constituencies of both presidental candidates are fiscal liberals, how can the voting public not be as well?

Sure, we can vote yet again for the fella with the "R" in front of his name in this up-coming election because we think it important, but it is not as important as winning the next six elections, and for that, we need the people to know where we stand and why before they will follow.  And just in case you have any doubts as to the veracity of what I am saying, you need look no further than the Ron Paul phenomenon. But you and I both know you won't do that because lemmings running toward the cliff never look up.

ex animo



Perhaps the lemmings actually running toward the cliff

are the ones who are going to vote for Obama directly, or vote for Obama by not voting?  Just perhaps, maybe, possibly, perchance. 

Well Played Old Bean,,,,

Well Played Indeed......

Yes, perhaps these are lemmings too.

But just because the lemmings calling for yet more government spending is headed for the cliff of economic despair, doesn't mean we have to as well; does it?

ex animo


You and I both know. . .

. . .that the "Ron Paul phenomenon" had as much to do with fiscal conservatism as the Ralph Nader phenomenon did.  It's a cobbled together assemblage of anti-war activists, drug war activists, Birchers and the militia movement.  To hold it up as the embodiment of fiscal responsibility is akin to holding the Democrats up as the party of the working man.  Yes, the working man gets invited to the party, but that's because they need someone to take out the trash at the end of the night.

Walt, are we talking about the same guy?

It's a matter of record, Ron Paul is a staunch fiscal conservative. His anti-war stance was simply an extension of his fiscal converatism. Here is a man, a Republican, who is not willing to sell out his political ideals just to win the next election. As a result, people stopped, turn their heads and listened to his message, and they followed him in increasing numbers. Ron Paul is, indeed, the quid essential example of what we -- all of us fellow fiscal conservatives -- should do if we ever want the general public to get behind our call for fiscal responsibility in the growth of government as the key to an economic recovery, a strong nation with a prosperous future.

ex animo


Poor David. . .

. . .those people kicked you out of two forums.  It seems fairly obvious that they're not what you think they are.  He's most definitely not what you want people to believe him to be.

Ron Paul is not just a "fiscal conservative".  He's a raving conspiracy theorist who has taken up the mantle of the John Birch Society.  Like you, he's well-meaning, but he's a flake.

I am sure many Whigs...

...thought the same of Lincoln. I dare say many fiscal conservatives who support the Constitution would be surprised to find themselves having"...taken up the mantle of the John Birch Society."

But even if I accepted your point, it wouldn't be dispositive of mine, i.e., "Here is a man, a Republican, who is not willing to sell out his political ideals just to win the next election. As a result, people stopped, turn their heads and listened to his message, and they followed in increasing numbers".

ex animo


David, David, David. . .

. . .it is an undeniable fact that Ron Paul has taken up the mantle of the John Birch Society.  Why this comes as a shock to anyone after his railing against the Council on Foreign Relations, the Trilateral Commission, "international bankers" (Psst!  That means "The Jews".), his goldbuggery, his crazy notions of the North American Union, the Security and Prosperity Partnership and the Trans-Texas Corridor, I don't know.

His ideals make up a kook.  His followers make him a kook with followers.  Marshall Applewhite was another kook with followers.  Forgive our reluctance to await the return of Hale-Bopp with you.

Walt, I don't mind debating issues with you...

..but when you start going around in circles, it's time to get off your marry-go-round. If you want to cast your lot with liberalism, go ahead. But I will no longer simply vote for the candidate who I am told is the Republican in the race.

Now understand me on this; when the Republican Party puts a Republican with a vision of America based on the principles of your party up as their presidential nominee, I will be there in full measure of support. But I will not vote for some one who equivocates on his values simply out of politically necessity, nor should you, nor should anyone who understands their full voting responsibility. Sometimes it is as much our responsibility not to vote as it is to vote.

ex animo